


we still sing

by ryanman98



Category: Fire Emblem: Kakusei | Fire Emblem: Awakening
Genre: Depression, F/F, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Suicide, personal, this did help me feel better writing it so i'd say it was a success, this is gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-15
Updated: 2016-11-15
Packaged: 2018-08-31 04:24:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8563981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ryanman98/pseuds/ryanman98
Summary: it is enough.





	

**Author's Note:**

> this would be longer but it started off really personal and, if i elaborated, it would ultimately be too personal to post.

it's funny, phila says, and the words sound flat and hopeless without a song behind them. emmeryn is quiet but her hands are in phila's hair, short because the traditions of the pegasus knights died with the rest of the order and phila was going to cut it all off once she retired anyway. i can't think of a damned reason to keep living anymore. i'm still going to, but there's no point to it. i thought getting you back would fix this, but it didn't.

i know, emmeryn says, and it's not i know because she knows that phila feels that way, it's i know because she understands, because she's felt the same for far too long and remembers the violent hopelessness of feeling like there is no real reason for her to live but living anyway, even if it's a numb, buzzing pain that registers barely as an ache. it doesn't sound bad and emmeryn doesn't know why she felt it but she knows it's horrible and frustrating, and it makes her heart ache that phila feels the same.

it's not your fault, phila says.

i know, emmeryn says again. this time it is because she knows.

phila touches her face. her skin is still soft and it's freckled, just a little, and phila has memories of caressing it, kissing it, holding it, having it close to her own and feeling the little blush on her cheeks. her skin is pale but it's gotten darker now that she's spending time outside, and there's a scar on one of her temples that's a different texture than the rest of her skin because the mental evidence of the fall was not enough. phila fell, too.

you still sing, emmeryn says. it's a statement and not a question. phila will always sing, not just her voice but her being; phila is a creature knit from dreams and songs and the primal, instinctual knowledge that she is loved that nothing ever managed to quash because phila loves herself and knows she is loved and no matter how awful she feels, no matter how much she feels there is nothing worth living for, there is a part of her remaining that still sings and still believes in love.

i'll sing for you, phila promises. until my lungs give out.

so i know where home is, emmeryn agrees, and she smiles. phila knows emmeryn loves her and that, sometimes, is enough to make her think that maybe living isn't that bad, and perhaps one day she'll feel the way she used to about getting up in the morning and facing the world. it is enough.


End file.
